God's Gift

It only took a second. Just one look and she was mine. Soft curly hair, black eyes and full cheeks. Her name was Gift and as I held this tiny precious baby girl in my arms I knew that my heart had changed. I was working at a baby home in Uganda. This little one had been thrown down a pit latrine as a newborn (pit latrine’s are forty to fifty foot holes in the ground used as public bathrooms) and she had survived. She was a miracle, a wonder, a treasure. I had never loved a baby before but as she looked at me with searching eyes, all I wanted to do was assure her of my love, protect her from all hurt and change her future, no matter her past. She may have been cast off by others, they may have said she had no value but to me she was greatest thing in the world. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Loving on this precious baby 

I began to long to have Gift with me at all times, just to enjoy her. Just to enjoy who she was. She didn’t do anything special, as a one month old she barely smiled but it didn’t matter if she did anything, I wanted her. I carried her around in a sling everywhere, when I did laundry, when I ate food, when I played with other kids. I just loved having her with me. Whenever I saw a pit latrine, I wept. It was unimaginable that anyone that she trusted could ever put her there.

Now, I’m not a baby person. They are cute and all but please, don’t ask me to hold them, feed them and heaven forbid change their diapers. Gift was different, somehow, her weakness made her more special to me. She needed me and it was a delight to take care of her (yes, even changing her poopy diapers). I knew I was being unfair to the other babies. When she cried, I came running. I couldn’t help it, she was mine, my favorite. I’d gladly stop whatever I was doing to come fulfill her needs. I was almost sad when she fell asleep and it was time to put her in her crib.

And then, the day came, the day for me to go home. I didn’t live in Uganda after all and even though I knew the day was coming it was worse than I could have imagined. It broke my heart. I cried every night. At the mention of her name, tears welled up in my eyes, I couldn’t stop them. I began to pray for my baby girl, I longed to have her again. I didn’t understand it. I had only had her a month. She had done nothing to earn my love. She didn’t even tell me she loved me back. How could I love so much, so quickly? I knew there was nothing I could do but pray and trust that she would be okay and maybe, maybe one day, she would come back to me.

 A few days after I left, I was in a church service. It was worship but, to be totally honest, I wasn’t praising God, I was thinking about Gift. I began to complain to God. How could He do that to me? How could I loose my baby? And then, in a gentle, soft voice, God spoke to my heart “Hope, how do you think I feel?” And then it hit me. I began to cry as I thought about God, the one who created me and you and all of humanity. He created us, loved us, made us, delighted in us. What unimaginable pain He must feel over His lost children? I had known this baby a month and I was heart broken. How much more must God ache when His babies reject Him, choose their own path, go a different way?

Gift's First Day at the Baby Home
 Right after being rescued from the pit latrine

And I’m not just talking about all the “lost” people out there in the world. I’m talking about me. I’m talking about those times that I sin. That I turn from God, when I reject Him and decide my way is better than His. In many ways, we are all like Gift. We are vulnerable, we are exposed, we don’t know who we are. And we begin to cry out in our abandonment and our pain, crying out to be saved from our circumstances. And then along comes our Father, our Savior, our God. He scoops us up out of our pit, out of the mess we are in. He cleans us off. He binds our wounds. He tells us we are lovely. He delights in spending time with us. We don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to perform, He just wants to be with us. He delights in fixing our needs, He knows our cry. He knows how to comfort us, He knows how to make us rest. We are His favorite, His delight. He just wants us. And then one day, we leave, we turn away, we take our own path. And there He is, heart broken. He cries for us, He longs for us and waits until the day we come back to Him.

Although what I had felt was only a small glimpse of God’s love, He had only revealed a sliver of His heart, I began to weep. I began to hate my sin and I began to love sinners. And there was God, ready to wrap me in His arms again. Despite the pain, despite the rejection. He didn’t see me as the child who broke His heart. He just saw me as His miracle, His wonder, His treasure, His Gift.

There are some of God’s children today who are still living in their old identity. They still believe the lies that others told them, that they aren’t worth it, that they have no value. There are some who still think they need to perform, they don’t understand that God just wants to hold them, to care for them, to protect them, to give them the best. And there are still some who are in the bottom of their pit. Without her cries, no one would have come to save Gift, they wouldn’t have known she was there. Some people are there in the pit, and God is waiting for them to cry out to Him so they too can become His Gifts.

Don't just take my word for it, dwell on these promises from the your Father God: 

“But now, this is what the Lord says- He who created you, o Jacob (insert your name here), He who created you, o Israel (your name ) ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior’” Isaiah 43:1-3 NIV

“He brought me to a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19 NIV

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” John 14:27 NIV

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

“So he (the prodigal son) got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” Luke 15:20 NIV 

"'Thought the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed' says the Lord, who has compassion on you" Isaiah 54:10 NIV